Fantasy Church League

Peter K McAndrew, Relational Evangelist 

Cosmetic salesman Peter K McAndrew of Minnow, Wisconsin was born to sell. High energy his distinctive enthusiasm for every aspect of his life is impossible to miss. As a married, heterosexual male McAndrew tries to entice on his latest line of eye liner, but I hold fast, just. He’s that good. 

Peter’s employment may revolve around the realm of mascara, tints and gloss but don’t be so easily fooled; McAndrew is a fast-rising layman in the world of Fantasy Church Leagues. 

McAndrew possesses the gifting of an evangelist, and when he’s not evangelising stayfast coloring or the benefits of a quality foundation, he’s telling people everywhere about the good news of Jesus Christ. Travelling all across the state McAndrew is an image of perpetual motion, visiting numerous retailers and affliates and infecting them with his love for life and his love for his Lord. 

A closer analysis of this impossible to stop dynamo reveals it aint all about the lipstick either. Exact numbers are sketchy, but even by conservative estimates McAndrew is winning souls like few have ever seen in the last 50 years. 

“Must be over 700, this year” ,McAndrew answered when asked how many people he’s lead to the Lord this season. “I travel a lot and so I can’t be there for all these people in seeing them grow in the Lord, but I see my job as the fisherman. I’ll hook ‘em in and there’s other folk to clean ‘em”. 

The stats across the state but how does McAndrew’s unique gifting pan out in his home town of Minnow? “Back home in Minnow we would’ve seen 250 saved this season. At least 100 of those folk we’re baptized this spring down at Lake Faremo.” 

Speaking with McAndrew’s Pastor, Frank Steffensen, and taking into account evangelist’s inflation, he was right on the money. “Yes sir, First Baptist saw 28 new believer’s baptized this spring and I’d say they were all lead to Jesus through the ministry of Peter McAndrew. He’s a fine young fellow.” 

Analysis: Using his patented “How hot is in hell today?” opening move McAndrew’s enthusiasm and unshakeable confidence makes a powerful evangelistic force in your congregation. Whilst the act first think later boldness of McAndrew can cause pastoral problems for the anxious pastor, the fruit of McAndrew’s endeavours are hard to ignore. If it’s souls you need winning and the Pastoral staff salary cap is tight, McAndrew represents a astute buy.   

Draft Insight Provided by Bruce Chant

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